How things change

“What happened to your forearms, they look like a meat packers arms,” my father stated, 

“You used to have thin arms like me but you got fat.” I looked at him blankly. 

I am the come back queen, three weeks after the event. What I should have said was, “So you admit that you have girly arms?” or “Your waist aint what it used to be either.” Instead I just stared at my Popeye forearms and agreed that they had become more muscular since the baby was born.

Motherhood has changed me in many ways, apart from the power arms, I used to pour over gossip magazines like a nun seeking sainthood. I would memorize names, up and coming TV shows and be enthralled by the drama of people’s bad days. However since the baby was born I’ve lost interest in drama, the sleepless nights and interfering entourage that motherhood has wrought keeps me occupied without needing to read about other people’s bad days. 

In the last two weeks I have purchased two magazines, Australian Good Food and Super Food Ideas. I’ve been combing through the magazines like a death row inmate choosing their last meal. Home cooked meals have become a rare occurrence in the last 22 months. If we get 3-4 home cooked meals a week that is a good week. That leaves a lot of take out meals to fill in the blanks. That has led my waist line to become a circle.

I’m hoping that the quick meals in the magazines are indeed quick. While Munchie loves to  help throw herbs all around the pot and help taste all the meals I cook, she needs to be on my hip the whole time. Hence the thick sailor arms from holding the baby like a resistant weight dumbbell. 

Despite the Schwarzenegger forearms, the excess junk food and my obsession with gourmet magazines, I wouldn’t change a thing. Motherhood has been so rewarding and I’m growing less selfish daily. I may be as fast as a beached whale in come backs, but my life is moving forward and I’m loving it. 

Changes may be coming at you like punches to a boxer against the ropes, but you have the power to embrace the new person you are becoming and find the joy in your situation. The meeting of ones thighs indicates the blessedness of living in a nation with abundant food. The greying of ones hair is an indicator of time passing and the blessing of years of life. Wrinkles are a sign that you have laughed and cried, which are the signs of truly living. The thickening of ones forearms is a sign that I have held true beauty in my arms. May you find true beauty in your arms today.

About over thinking

My daughters second birthday is at the end of March and I've already begun planning the party. I'm working out the theme, coordinating the guest list so every child has a friend and crafting a menu to please most the guests. In the back of my head there's a voice asking if all the work is really worth it. 

We could just as easily have a family only meal in a restaurant for a third of the cost, or fly to my parents place for a week for what I've budgeted for her birthday do. 

I'm not sure if I'm planning such a huge party as penance for the guilt I feel for being completely unprepared for motherhood.  Or maybe it's an apology for all the yelling I've done during her second revolution of the sun. I’ve felt like an automated service yelling, "Take that out of your mouth," "Get off the cat he's not a horse!" “Take that out of your mouth,” "Look with your eyes, not your hands," and did I mention, "Take that out of your mouth!!!!" Or maybe I just want to celebrate that I have made it two years without sleep and we are still alive.

Maybe I want such a big party because I really love my little girl and want her to have an amazing second birthday. She loves to be around other kids and having a house full of them always brings her great joy, so a big party would be perfect for her.

I’ve spent ten days turning ten different themes into one, “Munchie’s favorite things.” It could have just as easily been a penguin, balloon, shoe, cars, beach, ice cream, strawberry or pizza theme party, but favorite things covered them all.

I’ve spent a lot of time working out the details, but also weighing up my motives so that I do the right thing for Munchie on her birthday.

I once read a quote that said, “A life unexamined is a life unlived,” but I’ve got to state that “A life over examined is a frustrated life.” 

Over thinking can be more toxic then not thinking at all. Over contemplating what decision to make next, what subject to study or whether to proceed or not can paralyze an individual causing them to become immobile. I’ve often been afraid of making the wrong decision or doing the wrong thing but I’ve discovered that doing nothing can be worse than the two afore mentioned actions. 

Don’t get me started on over thinking about other people’s words or actions. Thinking too much about what someone said, or what someone did, trying to ascertain someones motives is like trying to lick the small of your own back. It’s never going to end well. 

As a general rule, I assume that everyone likes me and is genuinely kind and nice. That way if someone says something nasty, I assume that it’s a misunderstanding or they didn’t mean it the way it sounded. If it’s someone close to me, I may ask them what they meant, but being in pastoral ministry for almost a decade has taught me to not to over analyze what someone says.

When I was a teenager, my girlfriends and I would spend hours trying to work out what a boy meant by what he had said to us. 

For example, “He said, like, he wanted to play basketball with his friends on the weekend.” Then the analysis would begin. 

“I think that he is totally playing hard to get,” one helpful girl would state.

“Totally!” another would agree, “he’s like showing you that he likes you but he can, like, maintain other relationships too. He’s like totally into you.”

“I think he’s confused,” another girl would quip, “he’s like hot and cold, like he’s into you but he’s like trying to be cool with his mates, so he’s gotta play basketball on the weekend because he doesn’t want to show them how into you he is.”

It would go on for hours, the smaller the statement from the guy, the longer these analysis sessions would go. What no one ever said was, “He’s a teenage boy with the same higher functions as a baboon in the wild, he just wants to play basketball, he probably hasn’t thought about you since he told you he was going to hang with his mates and he probably won’t think about you again till he sees you Monday morning. Not because he doesn’t care, but because he’s just not over analyzing the universe like a teenage girl!”

My point is this, there is a time for everything under the sun, there is a time to analyze and a time to accept at face value, there is a time to think and a time to act and our job as humans is to determine when to do what. To celebrate our victories and to not beat ourselves up excessively when we fail.

Life is amazing and it is best experienced with adequate thoughtfulness and impulse, love and withdrawal, acceptance and analysis, fear and bravery. 

So if your thought patterns are making you miserable, retrain your thinking. The prophet Isaiah said, “Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past. (Isaiah 43:18)” The only person who has any control over your feelings and thoughts is you, so take hold of them and bend them to your will. It’s not the circumstances of our lives that make us feel the way we do, it’s the thoughts we use to evaluate our circumstances. So reevaluate your circumstances. Look for the good in all things, and forgive those who have hurt you, set yourself free. 

I’m going to enjoy Munchie’s birthday party and I’m going to enjoy the planning process. I’m going to stop analyzing the why and celebrate that our family continues to grow in love daily. Life may not be perfect but our life is pretty great. 

I hope you find what is great in your world today.

Change

The lights are twinkling on my Christmas tree like 500 multicolored fireflies, the fairies are smiling and the purple and silver ornaments are reflecting the light. I’m loath to take it down, it’s so beautiful. 

I really hate change. I wish I could say that I only hate negative change, but that would be a lie. I hate change full stop. When work told us that we were being moved to Coffs Harbor, arguably one of the most beautiful seaside villages in Australia, I was crushed. I was sad to be moving another 600kms from my parents, 1800kms is a long way from the only free baby sitters we know. But I was excited about living near the sea, and living full time in the place where people go on holiday.

If you live in a holiday destination does that mean that your life is a permanent holiday? I keep trying to convince my husband that even work is a holiday here. He’s response is that if you are away from your family over ten hours a day, that is not a holiday. He’s got a point, but where we live is still really great.

I love living here, it’s my favorite place yet, we are ten minutes walk to the beach. We live in a lovely calder sack where the kids ride their rip sticks up and down the street and they all look after each other. They even include my toddler in their out door sports. We have intermittent block parties and I know most of our neighbors. Moving here was one of the best changes we have ever made.

Change can be scary and take effort that we may not have the inclination to exert. Yet change is inevitable and beneficial. Changing our thinking about a situation may take effort, but it could also give us a more joyful existence. Changing our diet may be boring, time consuming or even just plain distasteful but it can give us a fuller and longer life. Changing our tires can be costly but being safer on the road is priceless. Moving and starting a new life may be daunting but the adventure of starting over can be a blessing.

Life feels like a coin sometimes, you don’t know if you’re going to get the a nod from the head or a tail in your face. Either way, we have the power to change every situation with the way that we choose to perceive it. The way we decide to thing about the change is what will determine whether it becomes a positive or negative force in our lives.

Shortly I will have to take down the Christmas tree with all its twinkling lights and festive bling, but it’s place will not remain bare long. As the weather becomes wetter (not cooler) I’ll need that spot for the clothes horse, I may even hang a couple of fairies on it, to remind myself that change is not bad, it’s just different. 

By Susan Magaitis

And he said: “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:3

The fountain of youth

Munchie received  her first fishy, whiskered seal kiss today. She couldn't take her eyes off the seal kissing everyone, then it was her turn. She was scared, the seal must seem like a giant monster to a toddler, but she was keen to meet it too. The picture reveals that she moved her head and the seal planted the kiss on the back of her head. However, the fishy scent smeared from her cheek to ear suggested that Munchie's assertion that the 'woof woof' (she thinks seals are sea dogs) kissed her cheek was a fact. She has limited vocabulary but we know exactly what she's talking about. The seal kiss and the peacock which flew onto the roof were hot topics during bath time tonight.

After a big day of seals, dolphins, fairy penguins, peacocks and giant sea turtles she drifted off to a happy, peaceful sleep. 

I remember watching an Oprah show about staying young and she had a guest who said she would do something that scared her every year for her birthday to stay young. 

Obviously, if Munch were any younger she’d be a zygote, but her experiences today really animated her and gave her a spark that I hadn’t seen for a while. Watching her experience the dolphin’s arial show and clapping with delight, ignited a spark of wonder in me that I hadn’t felt for a while either. 

My tip for the day is, do something that frightens you or watch a child experience something for the first time. Delight is a truly freeing feeling, and come to think of it, I do feel younger.

Staying on course

My mind is adrift today, the pounding between my temples is not helping my  concentration levels either.
I'm ready for bed, but as per usual my daughter is not. I wish I could take a sick day or a holiday from motherhood on days like today. Every person has a limit and mine is 22 months without sleep, will this child ever sleep through the night? At this point I would settle for her going to sleep before 10pm. The only thing getting me through is the thought that this is not forever. In not time she will be at school and this sleep depravation will be forgotten and I will be back at work, pining for the days when I would wake with her smothering me in a bear hug.
There are so many beautiful parts of this age. The way she says Mymmi, instead of Mummy. The fact that every scrape and bump can be cured with a kiss and a cuddle. Music is always an invitation to dance whether in the living room, shopping centre or church. There is nothing warmer then her cuddles, or cuter then her kisses, or sharper then her teeth! Her excitement is uncontainable and oddly expressed at times, she will see our cat and squeal with delight before kissing, cuddling and licking him, finally she will leave him with a parting kick (we are encouraging patting instead of the other behavior but are yet to see success in this area). She is a little extrovert and everyone at the local shopping centre knows her and if they don't she will introduce herself and maybe even do a little happy dance of welcome.
She's my heart walking around outside my body. She's an amazing little person.
Despite feeling unfocused and adrift, Munchie keeps me on course and God keeps me anchored. Hope you find your inspiration today.
By Susan Magaitis

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.Proverbs 3:5,6

A time to rest

I'm winding down. For the last ten years, Friday afternoon was the second most stressful time of the week, only second to Saturday morning when I'd present the weekly homily. Friday I'd clean the house, contact the worship coordinators, finish any work left from the week and make sure my sermon was complete. Many Saturday mornings I would see sunrise before I saw sleep so that my sermon would be perfect come 11am. Everyone would comment what a lovely day of rest and restoration Saturday was for them, but From 7am till 10pm I would be on the go.
Im on leave for the next fifty weeks. So Im going to really rest on my Sabbath. For the next 24 hours I don't have to worry about cooking or cleaning. I don't have to think about what I'm going to blog or who needs what from me. The next 24 hours are dedicated to spending time with God and my family.
It's my favorite day of the week, I can do as much or as little as I want. I can even skip church, something that is generally frowned on when you're the minister.
I'm turning off the TV, unplugging my laptop and tuning into some internal reflection. When the Munchkin goes down for her nap, my household goddess duties are on hold, I can do whatever feeds my soul, I could even sleep.
In this hectic rush around world, rest is in short supply, yet we need it more then ever. We need a break from the deluge of life to be with the ones we love.
As you wind down for the weekend, take time to love, laugh and reflect on living.
by Susan Magaitis

For everything there is a season,
a time for every activity under heaven.  Ecclesiastes 3:1 NLT

Bagging a bargain

The only thing I like about the end of the festive season is the sales. I'm a sucker for a bargain. On Monday I bagged a kilo of assorted cadbury chocolates in a roll taller than my daughter for $12! That's a saving of $18. Not only did I get the yummy choccies but Munchie will use the oversized tube to batter her uncle John. She loves the sound of the tube reverberating off his rotund physique, the two of them giggle like they've won the lottery through the whole “assault”. 

I also bought a fancy complete box of Christmas cupcake mix for $5. Though I’m  experiencing some buyers remorse about the cupcake mix, it was an impulse purchase. Sure it was a bargain $15 saving, but I have come up with some rules for myself to curtail my spending, and minimize my buyers guilt.

First, I ask myself, “Can this fit into my budget or will I be overextending it?”

Second, I only buy things that I really really really love.

Third, I only buy things that I know I will use (ie, it has to fit. I bought a dress on a whim seven years ago because it was a bargain and I figured I’d lose enough weight eventually to fit into it, the only time it’s left my closet was when we moved. It still has its tags. I’m now fatter then I’ve ever been so I don’t see myself wearing it any time soon).

Lastly, I rarely buy things without thinking about it overnight first.

Even if all I spend is $5, if I don't love it then I won't use it and if I don't use it, then that's $5 wasted. $5 I could put toward shoes or a block of chocolate which would be used.

The last time I made cupcakes was 16 years ago, I’m really hoping that there might be a repeat episode before the fancy cupcake mix expires.

Hope that your bargain shopping is fruitful in the post Christmas sales, I hope you can afford what you buy and that you love and use whatever you invest in. Bag a bargain, and giggle like you’ve won the lottery as you share it with others.

By Susan Magaitis

Ec 2:26 To the man who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness.

Life sux ... sometimes

Since hot hubby is on holidays he decided he would make lunch for us today. So he added all the ingredients to the baking dish finally pouring the flour in last, as the recipe dictated. As he  stirred the mixture he realized there were things crawling in it. We had a pantry invasion, weevils had infiltrated the flour, sugar and just about every other thing they could in the pantry.

I’m grew up in the school of “Waste not want not,” so having to throw out hundreds of dollars worth of food was quite annoying. In the grand scheme of things, if that is the worst thing that happens in 2012 then I will be having a stellar year. It’s easy to get upset about things going wrong and to get a “Why me?” attitude. Here’s something I wish I could delete from the Bible, “In the world you will have trouble, but be courageous-I have overcome the world!”(ISV). Not “might” or “occasionally” have trouble but you will have trouble. That sux, but bad things are an inevitable bi-product of living.

The true tragedy is not in the tragedy but if we don’t learn from the experience. From crushing tragedy we can learn how strong we are, that even if the unthinkable happens our lungs keep filling with air and the sun will rise. The pain may always go with us, but we learn that we can survive day to day and breath to breath.

So when the weevils of life attack, look for how to survive, and seek a silver lining.

The good thing about the weevils happening today were-

1. Hot hubby was home, his dish was ruined by the invaders, he was so enraged by the intrusion that he had to eradicate them himself. So first silver lining, I didn’t have to clean out the pantry.
2. The pantry is clean, after a year of collecting clutter.
3. One of the most exciting things, now I have a reason to go shopping, the pantry needs restocking!

If your life is suxing today, I hope that it is a learning and growing experience for you.

Capturing imagination

I was never going to be "one of those mothers" who sits their child in front of the television. Now that I am a mother, I would do many of the things I vowed never to do, just so I can sit on the toilet without a toddler in my lap. Munch has been watching Cars 2, the introduction has a car suspended above the deck of a ship. She's been gesturing and using her baby talk to explain to anyone who will listen how exciting the scene was. Every miniature car is being suspended in the air, it's really captured her 21 month old imagination. 
Being captured by a vision can be a powerful and life changing thing. In Steve Jobs autobiography by Walter Isaacson, Jobs talks about being inspired by Joseph Eichler's vision to build quality affordable housing. That vision led Jobs to want to build quality affordable electronics. So the seed for Apple computers was planted. Even if you're not an Apple fan, you need to admit that it is the quality and innovation of Apple that keeps PC honest and prevents them from financially pillaging consumers. 
Vision, dreams, captured imagination are what inspires us to greatness. It's the vision of raising functional adults who contribute positively to society that gets the tired mother out of bed. It's the dream of owning a home and raising a family that makes the laborer stick to a job. It's the captured imagination of doing great things after graduation that keeps the student sitting exams.
Proverbs 29:18 has been translated as "Where there is no vision, the people perish (Proverbs 29:18KJV)," prosperity gospel preachers like to tell you that this is about having dreams and aspirations for your life. That's not in the text but it's a nice sentiment and an uninspired life is an unlived life, so foster your imagination and chase after great dreams for your life. A better translation of Proverbs 29:18 (NIV) is "Where there is no revelation, people cast off restraint," people die or cast of restraint without a revelation of God in their life. Without God giving us inspiration, life can be dry and unrewarding.
Munchie may grow up to become the designer of the first levitating car after being inspired by Disney's Cars 2, who knows?
I pray today that you will recieve a revelation of Gods love and a vision of how important your life is in this world. Dream big, be inspired and share the joy.
By Susan Magaitis
Where there is no vision, the people perish (Proverbs 29:18)

All good things...

I’m eating the candy canes off our Christmas tree. It’s a sweet and sour moment, sweet because it’s the final taste of Christmas 2011, but sour because our next festive season is almost a year away. This time of year can be anticlimactic, the Christmas trees are re-boxed (or pity the thought cast away), Christmas lights are put in storage, Santa hibernates and the new years resolutions tend to wear off. The end of the Christmas season is sad, the cheer seems to evaporate like cheap perfume.
Inevitably it’s said, “All good things must come to an end.” I disagree, yes the feasting, blinding light displays and exorbitant spending must come to an end. They are not necessarily a good thing, if we ate like it was Christmas everyday, biggest loser auditions would have to be held in Olympic stadiums around the country. If we kept our light displays on year round we’d be broke come March (not to mention the effect on the environment!). If Christmas spending didn’t cease, we couldn’t enter our home for the clutter of socks, jocks and DVDs that we watched once and won’t think about for another decade!
The good thing about Christmas is family and friends, it’s strangers cheerfully greeting you in the street and sales clerks being happy to see anyone, even those of us who still can’t get back into our pre-pregnancy clothes and are looking a little shabby. They are the things I really love about Christmas and those things don’t have to come to and end, we can enjoy those year round. I’m not going to finish all my candy canes, I’ll save some to savour through 2012. Take the “good” things about Christmas with you, because all good things don’t have to come to an end, not if we choose to take them with us. 
By Susan Magaitis
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. James 1:17 NIV

It's a monotonous life

There is brown splatter in the toilet I just cleaned. There's more dishes in the sink and ironing in the basket. Do you want to know the secret of creating matter in a void? Wash all the laundry and leave the basket empty, the next time you open the basket it will be half full of the most putrid smelling matter (aka  my husbands workout clothes). Some days the monotony of being a "home maker" drives me to the brink of madness. It doesn't matter how many dishes I wash there are always more dishes. It doesn't matter how much laundry I clean there is always more laundry. It doesn't matter how many clothes I iron there is always more ironing. It doesn't matter how many meals I cook there are always hungry mouths to feed. It doesn't matter how much I clean the house it still looks like a bomb has hit within an hour of completion. For example, just as I finished mopping the floor the cat vomited the better half of a bird onto the clean tiles. The constant repetition of these tasks makes my brain itch. I can't help thinking if there isn't a better way to live life.
Whenever there's a big lottery draw, I daydream about how wonderful life would be if we won. Sometimes I'll surf the real-estate sites and imagine how great it would be to have our own home and not be paying someone else's mortgage.
In the daydream I imagine telling Hubby we won, then buying a beautiful home, furnishing it and painting Munchie's name on her bedroom door. That's where the fantasy ends, I never think beyond that. Why? Because I know after that I have to clean the house, do the laundry and cook dinner. Life would return to its normal monotony. There'd be no point in hiring someone to do it because with time whatever I do to replace it will eventually become routine and be just as brain numbing.
Don't believe me? Solomon was the third king of ancient Israel, at the height of his reign he was one of the richest men in history. He built amazing structures, fought heroic wars, and had over one thousand wives and concubines. Despite being the guy everyone wanted to be Solomon wasn't filled with joy, this is what he wrote, "I said to myself, “Look, I am wiser than any of the kings who ruled in Jerusalem before me. I have greater wisdom and knowledge than any of them.” So I set out to learn everything from wisdom to madness and folly. But I learned firsthand that pursuing all this is like chasing the wind....I said to myself, “Come on, let’s try pleasure. Let’s look for the ‘good things’ in life.” But I found that this, too, was meaningless....I also tried to find meaning by building huge homes for myself and by planting beautiful vineyards. I made gardens and parks, filling them with all kinds of fruit trees. I built reservoirs to collect the water to irrigate my many flourishing groves. I bought slaves, both men and women, and others were born into my household. I also owned large herds and flocks, more than any of the kings who had lived in Jerusalem before me. I collected great sums of silver and gold, the treasure of many kings and provinces. I hired wonderful singers, both men and women, and had many beautiful concubines. I had everything a man could desire!
So I became greater than all who had lived in Jerusalem before me, and my wisdom never failed me. Anything I wanted, I would take. I denied myself no pleasure. I even found great pleasure in hard work, a reward for all my labors. But as I looked at everything I had worked so hard to accomplish, it was all so meaningless—like chasing the wind. There was nothing really worthwhile anywhere" ( Ecclesiastes 1:17, 2:1,4-11 NLT). Pretty depressing if you stop there but even more depressing if you read verses 12-23 of Ecclesiastes 2.  
Solomon eventually comes to an encouraging conclusion, he said, "I decided there is nothing better than to enjoy food and drink and to find satisfaction in work. Then I realized that these pleasures are from the hand of God." (Ecclesiastes 2:24)
Continent and gratitude turn the monotonous life into a wonderful life, which ultimately is a gift from God. Being content with paying our landlord's mortgage and grateful for hubby's job, a healthy baby, for dishes in the sink and even the toilet splatter make life joyful. A family and home are a gift from God and though the upkeep of these things can be boring at times, I wouldn't exchange them. 
I Hope you find joy in the monotony today.
So I decided there is nothing better than to enjoy food and drink and to find satisfaction in work. Then I realized that these pleasures are from the hand of God. Ecclesiastes 2:24

Against All Odds

If you're a plant in casa de Susan, odds are you will not live to tell the tale. I'm a bi-polar gardener, I get excited and will repot, splint and water plants like mother nature preparing for Spring. Then I lose interest and the plants are cut loose to fend for themselves.
Occasionally against all odds a few plants survive. Eight days before Christmas (the day before I left to go interstate) I replanted some basil in "my garden"  (a styrofoam box).  When we got back after Christmas the basil had flourished to Edenic proportions.
Despite being neglected, left to fend for itself and used as make shift litter box the basil managed to grow to maturity with God's help. He provided the sun and rain and the basil took off growing like a teenage boy. 

Yesterday, I cut some off and made tomato, basil and bocconcini hors d'oeuvre, Delicious! (thanks Mad and Valita Reynolds for the recipe, check out Valita's blog for craft ideas, you won't regret it). Even when things weren't ideal they still managed to fulfill their purpose.

Your life may have started out the same way as my basil, neglected and left to fend for yourself. There may have even been days when you felt the universe was using your life as a make shift litter box.
But You are much too special to let that steal your purpose. You are fearfully and wonderfully made, created in the image of God, though life may not be ideal you too can flourish and grow to maturity with God. He'll provide what you need even against all odds.

In Memory of those who did not survive, venus fly trap, horribly deformed carrots, egg shell alfalfa, magnolias, you deserved better. I'm sorry.

Psalm 139:14 - I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full.

About completing legal documents

I've filled out my daughter's passport form three times now.  I like to think I have average intelligence.  I have a Bachelor of Arts, sure it's only in Theology, but I  managed to pass exams in ancient Greek, Hebrew and even English. I can't be a total dunce! The passport application still seems to be getting the better of me, I keep filling it out wrong and having to do it again.
I'll admit to partial liability.  I don't like reading the instructions. It stands to reason that these applications should be idiot proof. My parents who speak limited English managed to procure passports (granted they did read the instructions). So being a native English speaker with average intelligence I like to think I can fill out a simple passport form without needing to pour over the manual. My philosophy has not yet led to success however.
The other reason I am filling out the stupid form again is due to the ambiguous wording on some of the questions. Case in point, "Name of the mother at the time of her birth." At the time of whose birth, mine or the baby's? Is this a politically correct way of asking for my maiden name? Confused? I was! So after misunderstanding that question I get the joy of refilling out the form because you can't use white out on a government document.This kinda thing would generally drive me into the arms of a double cheeseburger, but it's a new year and I'm trying to be a good example to my daughter, or at very least maintain some semblance of girth control. So instead of focusing on the problem at hand, I'm focusing on the great places we will be able to go once I finally manage to lodge these forms. My little cherub's first passport,  aww she's growing up so fast! So I will persevere with completing the paperwork and hope that it will bring us many exciting adventures. 

I pray that if something is getting the better of you today, that you will find a way to not only rise above it but to totally conquer it, even if you need to read some instructions.

Romans 5:3-4 NLT
We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation.

Moments Alone

I love it when Hot Hubby takes the baby. The house is my personal playground, I can eat icy poles without little hands clawing at my legs. I can watch DVDs  that don't start with a catchy jingle that'll be stuck in my head all day. I can type on my laptop without the mouse being clicked a thousand times.

It's these moments of solitude that keep me sane, that help me focus and ultimately make me a better mother.

Hope that you get a few moments alone today too.

Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10

Failing at Motherhood

Nothing makes me feel more like a failure as a mother then when the baby won't go to sleep. Tonight 11.38pm - Epic Fail! 

In fact nothing has made me feel as much of a failure as being a Mum. Not being able to comfort a crying baby - Fail. The baby not eating as much as I expect - Fail. The baby kicking or biting kids at church - Fail. The baby constantly having food on her face - Fail.

Maybe the failure feels so big because I want to be so good at motherhood. I really want Munchie to grow up to be a happy functional adult and that means I need to be a happy functional adult - easier said than done.

I figure, even if I'm not the perfect Mum, as long as I keep trying to do my best and loving Munchie to bits, she will grow up just fine.

Though I feel like I fail a thousands times a day, if I keep trying I'm not a failure. So let's hope Munchie gets to bed before 11.38pm tomorrow.

My First Day as a FTM (Full Time Mum)

I intended to have it all, career, daughter, super svelte body and jet setting around the world. Life didn't end up going according to plan, so I gave up the job, kissed travel goodbye and donned the trackie dacks to be a full time Mum for one year. 365 days. 8760 hours. 525 600 minutes. I think I need a chocolate bar!

So day one, cooking, washing laundry, beach trip and shopping. Not bad for a first day.

The weather was amazing, bright blue sky, shiny sun, balmy warm water with my hot hubby and bubbly baby girl frolicking in the water at the beach. Can't complain about that.

Hot Hubby made a pertinent observation.

"Have you noticed that the only people at the beach are people with kids?"

I looked around, "You're right."

"That's because people without kids are still sleeping," he explained.

"Yeah and the people without kids are bleary with beach hair and can't work out how they got here," I observed.

I know how I got here, a beautiful baby who hasn't slept through the night in 21 months, and I still wouldn't return her!

So here's to the journey of being a FTM.

Pimp My Laptop

I feel sorry for my laptop. I'm sure that dreams of working for a graphic designer or a computer software technician swam in it's hard drive. In its worst case scenario it would not imagine being used by a person who had to use Microsoft office because she couldn't work out how to use pages and keynote. Not to mention its memory being used for photo storage like an external hard drive. Such superior technology should really not be reduced to such a lowly uses.
Life took a turn for the worst after the baby arrived, it's shiny white cover ravaged by forrest green crayon and an unidentifiable sticky substance. Not to mention the mouse which has lost it's click since the baby tried to jimmy it out with a pencil.
So today the laptop is going into the shop for a memory upgrade and a hard drive boost. The Mac guy is going to pimp my laptop. While its life may not be as glamorous as the late and great Steve Jobs laptop or James Cameron's laptop. It's usefulness has not wavered in my life. It's always been exactly what I need and a bit more.
So if you're feeling a bit under utilized or you wish that your life were a bit more glamorous. Remember that you are exactly where God wants you, your life is indespensible to Him.